T –211 days:
211 days before going to New York I downloaded a countdown app, so I wouldn’t constantly have to calculate how many days were left. I downloaded it as a happy reminder that the holiday of my dreams was just around the corner. This day was just a random day and not even the day my boyfriend and I decided to go to New York. At this point in time we had already planned this trip for quite some time (quote from a friend: “I know nobody, who has ever planned a holiday that far in advance”).
Let’s go back to early 2019:
Our New York plans actually started with a fight because I had mentioned that New York has always been my dream holiday destination. I can’t even explain why but due to pop culture the place just seemed so familiar and full of promises, that I simply had to go. I wanted to see the Friends building, order what she had at Katz’s Deli, try the original Cosmopolitan at the Rainbow Room and eat a cronut in front of the Tiffany’s storefront. My boyfriend was not that excited and claimed that he never felt the urge to go to NYC and that he wouldn’t come.
Fast forward a few months – after me agreeing to pay for accommodation (spoiler: this will be important later!) – and he was finally on board. And this was not just for my sake. I’d frequently notice how he sneakily looked at NY on Google maps, checked AirBnB offers, researched dive bars and waited eagerly for the sports schedules to be released. The two of us were excited now – proper excited!
We decided we’d go in October since this is the only month when the basketball, baseball, football and ice hockey seasons coincided. We also started putting money aside every month and were planning on staying for about 2 weeks in 2021.
Then Covid hit: It became clear that we wouldn’t be going in 2021, so we postponed for another year (nothing had been booked by then). Since you couldn’t really go out during Covid, we managed to put even more money aside and decided to extend our stay to a full month (made possible by an unpaid leave from work for me, and many months of saving up work holidays for him). Since Covid had made rents in NYC plummet, we managed to score a nice 2 bedroom AirBnB in North Chelsea/Midtown, which was well within our budget.
T -130 days:
By this time, our New York trip was basically all me and my boyfriend talked about. I was constantly on YouTube watching NYC walking tours. We tried to find the cheapest beer, the coolest happy hours and the best pizzas. I even agreed to watch the superbowl in preparation for my first football game. I am pretty sure that friends were already sick and tired of having to listen to what we were going to see, eat and drink.
130 days before going, we also decided to give some other cities a try and to add two 2-day-trips to Washington and Philadelphia. I decided to stay a few days longer than my boyfriend and to add Chicago to the itinerary as well.
T –100 days:
Wohoo! Only 100 days to go! After this much planning, the day felt like a massive milestone to us.
T –42 days:
At this point in time, my boyfriend and me had planned our big New York trip for more than 2 years. We had been looking forward to go pre-NFL tailgating, to have Korean fried chicken, to do a hot sauce tasting, laugh at instagrammers trying to get “that shot” and many more things.
But while planning all of those activities and while making the upcoming New York trip basically our sole topic of conversation, we both failed to notice that in the meantime our seemingly stable 10 year relationship had slowly but steadily developedcracks in its foundation. Deep, gaping cracks that even a joint trip to New York wouldn’t mend.
So we decided to break up.
T –24 days:
If you’ve ever tried to be friends with an ex, you surely know that it’s a seemingly unbearable and at times heart-wrenching task – especially right after a recent, painful break up. But we desperately wanted to make it work and started to discuss options. Since I had paid for accommodation, we both felt it was mainly my decision: Would I “allow” him to come? Would New York maybe even rekindle something between us? Would we be that (ex) couple that could make it work? Could we maybe prove society, expectations and (most of) our friends wrong and manage to go to New York together “as friends”?
The countdown app on my home screen, which was supposed to be a source of excitement and joy, had suddenly turned into a vicious, ruthless reminder that we were running out of time. We’d have to make a decision – soon.
T –13 days:
I decided to go to New York on my own.
T –7 days aka the day I write this post:
After many back and forths, countless tears, too many cocktails, sleepless nights, retail therapy, emotional break-downs on public transport (live footage), him moving out, and even some premature, passive-aggressive revenge-swiping on Tinder, I think I got to a point where I can look forward to New York again.
Sure, it will be painful to see and do things on my own that I originally wanted to see and do with him, but I feel resilient and sometimes there’s even a sense of (subdued) excitement. It won’t be the holiday I (or we) had planned but it will be a holiday to remember – for many reasons and in the end hopefully for the right ones.
What you can expect from this blog:
“Elizabeth Gilbert had everything a modern woman is supposed to dream of having – a husband, a house, a successful career – yet like so many others, she found herself lost, confused, and searching for what she really wanted in life.
(…)
So, finally newly divorced and at a crossroads, Gilbert steps out of her comfort zone, risking everything to change her life, embarking on a three point trip: Italy, India and Bali, a journey around the world that becomes a quest for self-discovery.”
This is from Wikipedia’s synopsis of “Eat, Pray, Love”. I promise you, that this is not what you’ll get on my New York blog. I feel no need for a “quest for self-discovery”. I want to write about restaurants, bars, sights, sports, events and just generally about an outsider’s perspective of New York. I want to see if New York lives up to my expectations and frankly, I am simply looking forward to a month off work. I promise to keep it light-hearted, but also wanted to share the true circumstances of the trip. I guess nothing engulfs “expectations vs. reality” as well as this New York trip. It will be different, but it will be good.
So if you want “Eat, Pray, Love”, then you’ll have to go to the nearest book store or stream the film because this is not what you’re going to get here… well, apart from the “eat”-part. I can guarantee you’ll get that.
The soppy part: This post is dedicated to all of my friends, who have been there, listened, cooked me dinner, refilled my glass with the finest stuff they could find in their fridge, met up with me for cocktails, met up with me for dinner, simply checked in, offered me their couches to crash on, invited me to come on their holidays, thought about visiting me in New York, will visit me in New York, sent me dad jokes for distraction, took over some of my work stuff when I couldn’t deal with it, took me to wine fests, got me cheer-up-presents, fed me with cheese and salsiccia and helped me compile a questionable break up playlist on spotify. You know who you are.
Couch Potato Chronicles 